Saturday, August 05, 2006
yay. back in action. do note, that was in a sacarstic point of view.
i hate this life. oh well. whatever. yeah its gonna be another negative post but heck, which of you people love me anyway. somehow i hope that this'd lead to a depression or a nervous breakdown or something similar. i can't fucking put on a brave front, or a large wide smile and say to you :" HEY WHATS UP BOY/GORL, IT'S BEEN A WONDERFUL DAY AIN'T IT?" my day has sucked big time. and no one's willing to be there for me. i'm sick and tired of being there for people, though it is comforting that they do have faith and trust in you. who's there for me in that click of my fingers. nobody. from another point of view, maybe i just won't let you huh, well no one has approached me yet anyway.
lets see.
7am. mum knocked on my locked door. banged loudly demanding me to wake up and open up.
8.00am mum took the cane and whacked my ass, literally. no kidding. geez.
8.20am mum made a huge list of what i AM going to follow, if not ( which was in small wordings) id be so dead.
right, follow me and spell it out, I LOVE YOU MUM.
forgive me for the use of vulgarities ya?
so some of you are going through tough times i know. can i be that selfish and claim : how about me damnit
i woke up at 4 later, when she opened my room door and screamed at me AGAIN. and asked me in a nasty way to pack my room. when i claimed that ther isnt much space left she went crazy. CRAZY really. she was so pissed that i said that line " but there isnt any space left"
I HATE YOU BITCH
so guess what she did. my LOVING mother went into the room and thraashed all of my stuff up. no kidding. she threw whatever was on my table next-to-the-cupboards-on-the-floor down my stairs. she threw my bags and school work down it too. sheswiped everything of my dressing table on the floor. she asked my maid to get a garbage bag to throw it all out or burn it, whichever possible. she thrashed the study table outside too. and linked it ti I DON"T WANT TO STUDY...
lik FUCK IT. which fucking parent behaves like that. you already asked me not to see him for the next 3+ months that morning and now you're acting like a crazy bitch. GET A FUCKING LIFE. be a buddhist yourself. i don't want to be like you. stop making me follow you fucking footsteps. what shit is this. you say i don't pick up your calls and stuff. thats like what sec 2? now i never pick up is it? i even auto sms you can? still say what give me freedom? is this freedom. you thrashed my hit, forced me to pack up, claimed i don't want to study when i STUDY AT HOME INFRONT OF YOU, and broke alot of my things up.
HELL I WANNA MOVE OUT. I DON'T WANT YOU AS A MOTHER JUST LIKE YOU DON"T WANT ME ANYMORE. she even told my aunts that having dogs at home are better then me. FINE. she say that bothe dogs still will come and console her. LIKE FUCKING SHIT, i made you angry or rather you're mad at me, how the fuck can i go and ask you to chill out? i hate home. fuck the pm, what policy is having a family is warm. my family just turned as cold as how the people in hell feel. i hate you i hate you i hate you!
can i please go into depression now? so at least a stranger counsellor still will care for me, like a mum should? can i go see osme famioly counsollor so she'd stay ou tof my life? i really desperately wanna break down.
10:11 PM
