Sunday, January 11, 2009

this was so long ago. but somehow it kinda describes how i feel now...

what happened to 'just like heaven'?

met many people these couple of days, i look around and see how privileged i am.

i see what luxuries they've given to me.

i see how people have to work their way through school.

i see how couples are in far away countries, working, studying, yet going strong.

i see the lifestyle i am leading,

but i think about the lifestyle i want to lead.

then, after 15 mins, i complain that the bus is taking forever, so i take a cab.

then, i complain that the iphone is retarded and expensive to fix.

then i worry about getting the money to fix it.

then i worry.

about shit.

friday i went to children's art theatre, where i grew up. well, kinda. i sat in one of the classes for bigger kids. and then i reminisced. about the times where i was that 12 year old, talking back to the teacher, drawing rubbish on foolscap paper.

but the two things i remembered so well, weren't the classrooms, weren't how my classmates and i behaved in school.

i remembered skipping classes or even going in late.

i remembered the stories told to us, those 2 minute long storied, which contained so much values. i remebered that i thought those stories were crap, a waste of time, i twisted the words to make them stupid.

but now i know, how much time i have wasted. 2 years. and i look at where i am, a third chance to make things right. a second chance to make them proud. a final chance to make it big.

杨老师，谢谢你，让我在那种万分中的温馨里长大。以前我是多么的讨厌。顶嘴，一定让你很痛心吧？

谢谢你那些故事，三国，红楼梦，孙悟空，还有那许多许多的教导。

我明白了。

i promise to try, but i know i'm gonna be so tired. i know so many things, but i haven't done anything.

what's topping MIT? it isn't an achievement. placeing a sec 2 kid there, she'd top the school. i'm nothing. not yet.

but i know i will be,

soon.

6:13 PM