Tuesday, December 08, 2009
So we broke up on sunday. Been crying my eyeballs out (though its not like you care, right?).
Although you've chased almost every single girl i know, thought that my friend looks hot, stare at pretty girls outside your school. I am an idiot afterall. Because even after all these truths told to me, there's still a part of me which misses you.
I miss you hugs, your kisses, you're "I love you"'s. I miss your voice, your breathe, your hugging me to sleep. I still love you.
But I know, you're not worth it al all.
If you could come screaming at me, saying that I can't be bothered to call you. Ask yourself, did you even want me to? Did you look forward to my calls, like i did for yours?
I practically had to pry your mouth open with pliers to hear you say I love you to me. I had to whine for months before you even tried hugging me to sleep. I had to massage you often because you're so tired from driving. I had to cook, clean and do your damned laundry for you cause you hate it. Whatever else I did for you, you know.
Because of my bloody blindness, I owe my mum 4k. I have to owe a year of foxtel. I bought a car for you to drive around. It wasn't a great car, but its still a car.
I gave you whatever i could. I only wanted you to see my efforts and love me still. I wanted you to be happy.
What did i get in return? Lies, Betrayals, What else, I don;t want to know.
Kelvin. I loved you with all my heart. I saved on me so you could spend. Even after the 9 months, the nightmares and the memories. Just tell me you loved me, even if it was just a tiny bit.
Because you took all my confidence away. You tore me apart. My brain is into pieces, I can't eat, I can't sleep. All i do know is cry over you.
And you know what, I know you're not worth it. 黎真系一D都吾值得。但是我的心依旧都好挂住黎。
I know I'm so stupid. I know you won't ever get to read this.
Being torn apart into loving you, hating you and missing you, I don't know what I'll do if I ever see you again.
Please don't ever appear in front of me. You know that I can live without you; could you, without me?
1:46 AM
